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Most of the blogosphere has been writing about their New Year’s Resolutions, and I have been thinking a lot about mine as well, but I’m also mulling over the other meaning of the word. Resolution, as in bringing to a close, wrapping up, ending.

There was supposed to be a great deal more resolution in 2011. Resolution of the cloud of uncertainty about my course into the residency program I ultimately want to end up, in particular. The end of 2010 was hopefully going to leave me with an answer, but instead I find myself with more questions, and the prospect of re-entering the match process next year. Not exactly the resolution I was looking for.

Living with uncertainty is very high on my list of least favorite things ever, and yet here I am in the middle of it, again. I often joke about having chosen the most difficult path possible through life, but sometimes the most difficult part seems to find me even when I’ve taken great pains to avoid it. Realistically, there are probably things I could do to stop feel like I was constantly throwing myself at a brick wall, but when my goals in life are on the other side of the wall, it would be a pretty big decision to just walk away. I’ve come this far, I might as well continue flinging for a while longer. I’m just starting to get sore, that’s all.

Of course, there will still be plenty of resolution this year — barring any further unforeseen disasters, BWB and I will graduate from medical school in May. I am working hard to remind myself that this alone is forward movement. After May, for better or for worse, we will finally be able to stop referring to ourselves as medical students (although I can’t say either of us is really going to be ready to tell people we’re doctors). It will be gratifying to finally discard forever the short coats that signify our student status. Forward movement, baby. Forward movement.

It’s funny because BWB and I love taking road trips together, and one of the things we both like most about our relationship is how well we travel with one another. At this point, our careers are proving to be the ultimate road trip. While the path isn’t as straight as we had hoped it would be, we’re still walking on down the road. I am intensely grateful that there is someone walking beside me at this point; even the longest road is a little less taxing when one has good company.

A somewhat belated Happy New Year to everyone, and may your roads be a little bit smoother, no matter the twists and turns.

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